JOKES

A Spoonful of Salt

submitted by Alan Maley, UK

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, all the guys were chasing after her. As for him, he felt so ordinary and nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but being polite, she agreed. They sat in a nice coffee shop, but he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and thought, please, let me go home.... when suddenly he asked the waiter. "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why salt? Why not sugar?” He replied,”When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea and the taste of the salty sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have salty coffee, I think of my childhood, think of my hometown. I miss my hometown so much, and I miss my parents who are still living there".

Tears suddenly filled his eyes. She was deeply touched by his words. A man who can reveal his homesickness, must be a man who loves home, cares about home, feels the responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family….her life. And that was the beautiful beginning of their story. Later, after their marriage, every time she made coffee for him, she put a spoonful of salt in it as she knew that was how he liked it.

40 years later, he passed away, leaving her a letter which said:
“My dearest, please forgive me. My whole Life has been based on a lie. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time. I actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that would be the start of our life together! I wanted to tell you the truth many times in but I was too afraid to do that. Now I'm dying, I’m afraid of nothing so here is the truth: I don't like salty coffee – I hate the taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!”

 

Half Cup of Tea

submitted by Cynthia Beresford, UK

Jeremy, who was a very timid young man, had one or two little manias. One of these was that he never wanted more than half a cup of tea. Mostly, though, people were too thoughtless or too generous and they always seemed to fill his cup up.
This girl he met, the daughter of friend of his mother’s, she asked him:
“ Would you like a cup of tea?”
“ Just half , if you don’t mind”
She poured him exactly half a cup.
Over the next few weeks they got to know each other better and nine months on they got engaged.
When he had timidly given her the ring she asked:
“ What was it about me that……?”
He smiled: “I asked you for half a cup of tea and you gave me what I asked for”
She blushed: “It was a terrible moment, that was all I had left in the pot…… I felt awful.”

 

 

John Smith started the day…, found on the Internet by one of the HLT Readers

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am.

While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG), he put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY), filled it with GAS (FROM SAUDI ARABIA) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (made in MALAYSIA ), John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL), poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.

Now he’s hoping he can get help from the US President (MADE IN KENYA).

 

 

More Things That Infants Can Teach Us on the Subject of Love

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . ...

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

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A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8

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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

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'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

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'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

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'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

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'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6

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'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

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'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

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'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

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And the final one is from a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'